fibro face

December 13, 2010


this is what it looks like, the flare that has been toying with me for days like a clawless cat after a mouse – batting and cornering, just barely nipping. except today the cat suddenly grew claws and has deeply sunk them into me.

i should have known. my signature stiff and jerky “joe cocker and t-rex love child” walk started friday evening. saturday morning all the muscles i own felt like they’d been hit by a semi truck. by sunday afternoon the knee i had surgery on last summer was sending out pain signals i haven’t felt since my knee rehab physical therapy. but i plowed through, like a good girl should.

now i am tight and spasming all over – back, gut, all appendages. i cannot touch anything that is even slightly cold or i risk sending my nerves into a frenzy, as i discovered when my son placed a piece of his playdoh on my wrist. how do you explain to a 3 year old that playdoh hurts enough to make you want to scream “get it off of me NOW!!”?

my face is stuck in a vice grip of pressure and pain, sending my jaw into such tension that i actually just broke my molar – fibroteeth just don’t last long.

and i’ve taken all the meds i can take without making myself fall asleep – which is no good when you have a darling little one to look after.

on a pain scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is the worst pain ever, im at a 9. i know there is one stage worse than this, so i will take a few scalding hot baths and pray that it eases my body back to normal.

fyi, normal is about a 5 or a 6. that is where i function pain-wise on most days. a really great day is a 2 or 3. a 1 happens every once in a while, and it is heaven.

still i will take this 9 over that damn fibrofog any day. at least i know what’s going on and where i am.

at least i think i do…


8 thoughts on “fibro face

  1. Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your raw intensity. Exposing your fibro cannot be easy but it validates how real this really is for all of us and I just wanted to say how very very proud I am of you sweety, you’re so amazing. ❤ Lots of luv!

  2. Thank you for sharing – you articulate things really well, something I’m struggling with greatly. Hearing others share their stories makes me tear up with empathy, solidarity, and gratitude – as you remind me that I am not as alone in how I feel as I sometimes think. Still struggling with friends that think they get it, but really don’t even come close to getting it. It’s those little throwaway comments that can be so enlightening as to how much they don’t understand – which can be so, alienating, frustrating, and aggravating. So blogs like yours really help put it into words and break it down to the bare bones. I really hope to be able to raise awareness as much as I can, and want to start my own blog soon. Thanks for being an inspiration! Virtual Hugs (as they don’t hurt!) Harmony xo

    1. Thank you, Harmony. That is an awesome compliment. Keep writing. I don’t always think I’m describing things all that well – we are our own harshest critics. So just keep going!

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