December 13, 2010
this is what it looks like, the flare that has been toying with me for days like a clawless cat after a mouse – batting and cornering, just barely nipping. except today the cat suddenly grew claws and has deeply sunk them into me.
i should have known. my signature stiff and jerky “joe cocker and t-rex love child” walk started friday evening. saturday morning all the muscles i own felt like they’d been hit by a semi truck. by sunday afternoon the knee i had surgery on last summer was sending out pain signals i haven’t felt since my knee rehab physical therapy. but i plowed through, like a good girl should.
now i am tight and spasming all over – back, gut, all appendages. i cannot touch anything that is even slightly cold or i risk sending my nerves into a frenzy, as i discovered when my son placed a piece of his playdoh on my wrist. how do you explain to a 3 year old that playdoh hurts enough to make you want to scream “get it off of me NOW!!”?
my face is stuck in a vice grip of pressure and pain, sending my jaw into such tension that i actually just broke my molar – fibroteeth just don’t last long.
and i’ve taken all the meds i can take without making myself fall asleep – which is no good when you have a darling little one to look after.
on a pain scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is the worst pain ever, im at a 9. i know there is one stage worse than this, so i will take a few scalding hot baths and pray that it eases my body back to normal.
fyi, normal is about a 5 or a 6. that is where i function pain-wise on most days. a really great day is a 2 or 3. a 1 happens every once in a while, and it is heaven.
still i will take this 9 over that damn fibrofog any day. at least i know what’s going on and where i am.
at least i think i do…